What makes the comic so much fun (and damned good) is the chain-linking of fully realised characters cracking wise as their actions propel the plot.
What makes the small-box adaptation such a disappointment is the absence of believable characterisation (thanks in large part to shit dialogue) and plotting that makes each forty-minute-plus ep feel like eight fucking hours.
On the local rag was this sissy pants apologising for exercising choice.
When the choice is between Telecom Spark's Lightbox (hey, you remember when you fucked your customers over when you had a monopoly?), or Sky's Neon (why would I give my hard-earned money to this fuckin' cable monopoly?) or Netflix (bringing you Netflix content… except that which has already been licensed by Sky or Spark or whoever the fuck), I'll make my own way, thank you very much.
Ten minutes in and they've repeated the backstory for our lead character Detective Christian Walker (Sharlto Copley) what feels like four fucking times.
The dialogue is — there's no other way of putting it — shitty boring-arse exposition, the pacing is slow and meandering, the actors are game, the casting is interesting — besides Copley there's Noah Taylor and Eddie Izzard — and blah blah blah snoooore.
I've read that things don't improve until ep three but ten minutes in, my love for the comic may not be enough to wade through this rubbish.
The guy who played the antagonistic D.A. from The Good Wife. The guy who played the up-and-coming kingpin from The Wire. The kid from Iron Eagle. A truckload of faintly recognisable character actors. Even behind the camera there's heavyweights from Wire, Homicide: Life on the Street, and Law & Order.
So why is this procedural so goddamned boring? Lead Welliver is stoic in his portrayal; sidekick Hector has fun being a clothes-horse detective partner; Gedrick shines with an understated performance as a serial killer. The supporting characters provide welcome moments of levity and wit that are sorely lacking from the eponymous lead's interactions with everyone.
Could it be I'm so used to Welliver playing dicks that I'm just having trouble buying him as a hero? Or could it be his channelling of Gary Cooper's High Noon performance is just one-note and tiresome?
The Flash has things I hate in a network show: men with square jaws and women with coltish figures, their average age suggesting recent graduation from the Mouseketeers; and childhood flashbacks requiring child actors to emoting loss, grief, and rage.
The lead is disarmingly clumsy and charming while his supporting cast is intelligently characterised, subtly acted, and sharply defined. And those flashbacks… they gave me a lump in the throat, goddammit.
There's honesty in the writing that's connecting with me. Where Arrow is all shadowed clenched jaws and adrenalised high drama, The Flash, with the lightest of touches from the its makers, seems to have really captured lightning in a bottle.
— please fucking explain how shit like Longmire, Major Crimes (a spin-off from the cold ashes of The Closer that was so stupefying that I didn't bother posting about it), and Hell on Wheels (90210 playing cowboys 'n' Injuns) can be in their second or even third seasons when actually entertaining and intelligent telly like Vegas and Last Resort aren't renewed beyond their maiden seasons?